How to Find Your Purpose in 20 Minutes

Have you ever worked with a confident salesperson who comes across as caring more about their success than your satisfaction?

It’s not your imagination.

It’s their intention.

Intention is an invisible force we can’t see, touch, measure, or prove – but we feel it.

It holds more significance than we could possibly imagine—it affects our sense of well-being and more, it our intention that holds the key to unlocking our Purpose.

Purpose is deeply misunderstood it is. But it doesn’t have to be. You can find your Purpose today by following the steps here, or in the video below. But it’s not enough to just find your Purpose—the feeling of fulfillment you long for comes from aligning with your Purpose. That’s why we’re going to cover three things:

1. What Purpose is, and isn't

2. Find your Purpose following a 3-step process

3. How to align with your Purpose (this is the most important step, and where most of us go wrong!)

   
   

Even if finding your Purpose feels like an impossible mystery right now, you’ll soon see that it’s something deeply familiar, and at the very core of who you are.

I. What is Purpose?

 A dictionary defines purpose as “the reason why something is done” and tells us that it has to do with our “intention”. Yet, when it comes to finding our Purpose, we often turn it into something far bigger – something like: protecting sea turtles, feeding the homeless, or building a multi-billion-dollar enterprise.

Yet these examples don’t capture the true essence of Purpose. These are each examples of things you do.

Purpose is not WHAT you do.

It’s WHY you do it. 

Your Purpose has to do with the intention behind your actions. When it comes to your Purpose – Purpose with a capital “P” – your intention extends beyond yourself, your intention is to benefit others.

Your Purpose, is a heartfelt intention to bring about a desired state of being to others.

Intention matters. We feel it. And yet so often we are not intentional with our intention. We bring an intention to what we do whether we are consciously aware of it or not. And if we're not, there's a good chance it will default to one that is self-directed.

When others are not intentional with their intention, we may feel a salespersons ego selling us, while missing a sense that they genuinely cared about our best interests.

When we are not intentional with our intention, we may feel consumed by insecurities, imposter syndrome, or need to impress others.

The good news is, we can shift our intention – to one directed beyond ourselves. As a salesperson, we can sell someone a car so that the customer can be happy. We can sell software to a business so that they can achieve their potential. 

A subtle shift in your intention can make a POWERFUL difference.

Your Purpose–your intention–impacts how you and others feel. It’s about our well-being, which is a trillion-dollar industry. The very best thing you can do to improve your own and others well-being is to align with your Purpose, and it won’t cost you a single cent.

Your Purpose is not about getting what you want; it’s about giving it to others.

But the truly magical part? It’s by giving to others what you want most for yourself, that you’ll finally feel the way you’ve always longed to feel.

II. Find Your Purpose

You’ll find your Purpose by following these 3 steps:

1. Identify your desired state of being

2. Identify what you want for others

3. Write your Purpose statement

1. Identify Your Desired State of Being

For the first step, finish this sentence:

More than anything, I just want to…

Just let the answer come to you, and write down your response. Below are common examples, however, if you have something different it's perfectly okay.

More than anything, I just want to:

• Be happy

• Be successful

• Be protected

• Be the best I can be

• Be who I am 

• Feel secure

• Feel supported

• Feel safe

• Feel at peace

• Feel seen 

• Have stability

• Have peace of mind

• Have my needs met

• Achieve my potential

• Enjoy Life

• Live life to the fullest

• Live a rich and fulfilling life 

• Be free to be my genuine self

• Be free to live the life I want

• Be positioned for success

• Make a dent in the world

• Realize my power and potential

• Be triumphant

• Feel good

• Feel safe being my authentic self

Don’t judge your response or pick what you THINK you should want. FEEL into what resonates with you, and if your response differs from the examples, that’s perfectly fine.

2. Identify What You Want for Others

This time you’ll identify what you want most for others by finishing the sentence: 

 More than anything, I just want people to….

Think about the people closest to you, what do you want for them? Let your heart finish the sentence, then write down your response.

 When you’re done, read your responses from step 1 and step 2. If your two statements are similar, it's a good indication that you’re getting close to revealing your Purpose.

As an example, I finished the first sentence by writing:

• More than anything, I just want to be who I am.

My response to the second sentence was:

• More than anything, I just want people to be who they are and do what they do best.

Thought they aren’t identical, they carry the same sentiment.

If your two responses are not similar, take a moment to revisit the two prompts and look for something in common that you desire yourself, and also for others. It should not feel forced but remain true and authentic to you. Once the two are similar, move on to the next step.

3. Write Your Purpose Statement

In this step, you’ll write your Purpose statement. But interestingly, it doesn’t work to say “My Purpose is to…" because you inevitably end up saying something you do…and Purpose is not WHAT you do, it’s WHY you do it (personally, I believe it’s this very statement that’s caused so much confusion about what Purpose truly is!).

Instead, begin your Purpose statement with the phrase, which keeps the focus on your underlying intention:

I do what I do so that people can…

To write your Purpose statement, combine this phrase and your response from step 2.

For example:

• I do what I do so that people can be who they are and do what they do best.

• I do what I do so that people can enjoy life.

• I do what I do so that people can have wealth that affords them the freedom to live the life they want.

Congratulations! You very well just found your Purpose!

If you're wondering, "how can I be sure this is truly my Purpose?” consider this: you will know because you know the pain of experiencing the opposite.

• If you've had the rug pulled out from under you and experienced instability, it makes sense you yearn for stability in the world.

• If you’ve felt restricted or trapped, it makes sense you crave freedom.

• I spent much of my life feeling uncomfortable in my own skin and that’s why I just want you to be who you are.

 Our Purpose develops from our pain.

That’s why it’s so important. Because we know the pain of not having it.

Your Purpose is to bring your desired state of being to others. To feel how you long to feel, you must align with your Purpose. 

III. How to Align with Your Purpose

To align with your Purpose, you become intentional with your intention.

Intention might just be the most powerful force on the planet, and yet it’s USELESS if we don’t know how to apply it.

Here’s how you can align with your Purpose:

1. See the mutually exclusive polarity at play involving your intention

2. Understand how to ground yourself in your Purpose

3. Catch yourself when you’re misaligned with your Purpose.

All of this will lead to you feeling truly fulfilled!

1. See the Mutually Exclusive Polarity

Your intention will either serve others, or it will serve your ego.

When it serves others, you’re aligned with your Purpose. You do what you do because you care about others’ wellbeing—you want them to feel safe, supported, secure – whatever that state of being is that you identified in your Purpose statement. In this way it’s selfless, and it leaves you feeling fulfilled.

When your intention serves your ego, you’re misaligned with your Purpose. You do what you do because you care how others perceive you, so your intention is to control their perception. In this way, it’s selfish, and it leaves you feeling unfulfilled.

Aligned: Intention Serves Others (Selfless) – feel fulfilled

Misaligned: Intention Serves Ego (Selfish) – feel unfulfilled

The remarkable thing is this: the two are mutually exclusive. Meaning, the two things cannot be true at the same time. 

This was life changing for me, because in seeing this mutually exclusive polarity, I instantly knew my insecurities would vanish; all I needed to do was shift my intention away from myself and my insecurities, and instead bring an intention that served others and aligned with my Purpose.

Up until this day, I had no idea I could choose and direct my intention. And while I didn't think of myself as a selfish person, I had been extremely selfish when it came to my intentions. On autopilot, my intention frequently served my ego and my insecurities, to ensure others didn’t view me unfavorably. 

It is your intention that dictates whether you’re aligned or misaligned with your Purpose.

When you’re aligned it brings an elevated sense of well-being as you finally experience what you’ve been longing for – that state of being you just defined in your Purpose statement.

When you’re misaligned with your Purpose it erodes your sense of well-being, and can be experienced as:

• Insecurities

• Imposter syndrome

• Needing external validation

• Need to control how others treat you or perceive you

• Feeling unfulfilled

• Feeling something is missing in life

• Experiencing a midlife crisis (an alignment crisis)

• Feeling the opposite of how you truly want to feel

All of these are signs of being misaligned with your Purpose, and aligning with your Purpose is the antidote to every one of these.

Due to the mutually exclusive nature of our intentions, choosing an intention that benefits others, means our ego holds no control over us.

 2. Ground Yourself in Your Purpose

The key to grounding yourself in your Purpose is to feel your intention – feel your Purpose being fulfilled. Read your Purpose statement, then feel it in your heart. For example,

• If you’re going to give a presentation to your peers – before the presentation, ground yourself in the feeling of your peers feeling supported, seen, protected – whatever aligns with your Purpose and feels true and heartfelt to you.

•  If you have a dance competition, ground yourself in the feeling of moving the audience emotionally through your performance.

•  If you’re headed into an interview, ground yourself in a feeling of helping customers be the best they can be.

If you’re not sure what to do, read your Purpose statement and ask yourself, “what are things I can do today that will allow me to bring my desired state of being into the world?”

When you get your answer, feel how incredible it feels as others experience this state of being—and even though you’re doing this in advance, feel it happening right now—the feeling of your Purpose fulfilled.

This is a feeling that emanates from your heart; it might feel like your heart is swelling or about to burst, or feel like a mantra, prayer, or deep sense of gratitude. Practice grounding yourself in your Purpose by feeling your desired state of being in the lives of others.

 3. Catch Yourself When Misaligned

Anytime your insecurities arise, simply use that as an indicator that is there to remind you to realign with your Purpose. Then, choose to shift your intention to something that serves others in a way that aligns with your Purpose.

Insecurities will surface because our ego wants to make sure they never see the light of day and wants to make sure we’re not exposed as a fraud.

We each want to be seen in a certain way because, if we’re not, we experience our undesired state of being. Your insecurity may stem from a fear of being perceived as irrelevant, incompetent, expendable, or a low performer – or maybe you can’t stand for people to exclude you, criticize you, judge you, or be disappointed in you.

Everyone has insecurities. It doesn’t always feel like it because we don’t all have the same insecurity.

But what we do share is this: if our intention is to avoid our insecurities, we will find ourselves misaligned with our Purpose. We’re capable of putting an enormous amount of energy into making sure we avoid our undesired state of being – when the reality is we could just align with our Purpose and actually feel how we want to feel. Serving our ego is exhausting. It’s unproductive. And it’s what stands between each of us and the fulfillment that comes from aligning with our true Purpose.

Catch yourself when insecurities arise; just think of it like the check engine light coming on in your car—a signal meant to get your attention and remind you to realign with your Purpose.

Aligning with your Purpose is vital to your sense of well-being, and it’s something that is desperately needed in the world right now. How we feel plays a crucial role in shaping our mental health, and the mental health crisis is deeply intertwined with our collective sense of well-being.

As more of us become intentional with our intention, not only will we feel how we want to feel, together, we’ll make a difference in the lives of others.